Few Funny Definitions

* School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
* Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
* Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
* Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
* Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
* Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
* Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”
* Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
* Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
* Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
* Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
* Father : A banker provided by nature.
* Criminal : A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.
* Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
* Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
* Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
* Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read.
* Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
* Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
* Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
* Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
* Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
* Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
* Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
* Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State…

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

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LAW OF TELEPHONE : When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

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LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

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LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

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LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

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BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

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LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

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LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

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LAW OF BIOMECHANICS : The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

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THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

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LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.