>This is a very good article. Read it.
>
>Those who are still single may learn something from here
>
>Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
>marriage….
>
>
>
>DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
>
>During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
>
>She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?”
>
>I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
>
>”It depends. Is that your husband?” In all seriousness, she answered
>
>”How do you know?”
>
>
>
>Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing
>on your mind.
>
>
>
>Here’s the answer.
>
>EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
>your spouse.
>
>You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their
>idiosyncrasies.
>
>
>
>Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely
>natural and spontaneous experience.
>
>You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love…
>
>Because it’s happening TO YOU.
>
>
>
>People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the
>imagery of that expression.
>
>It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then
>something came along and happened TO YOU.
>
>Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.
>
>But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the
>natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
>
>Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch
>is not always welcome (when it happens),
>
>and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
>
>
>
>The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
>about your marriage,
>
>you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you
>were in love and a much
>
>duller or even angry subsequent stage.
>
>
>
>At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the
>right person?”
>
>And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once
>had, you may begin to desire
>
>That experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People
>blame their spouse for
>
>their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
>
>
>
>Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
>most obvious. But sometimes people turn to
>
>work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
>
>
>
>But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie Outside your marriage.
>
>It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with
>someone else. You could.
>
>And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few
>years later.
>
>Because (listen carefully to this):
>
>THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
>
>IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
>
>SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.
>
>It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love.
>
>You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression
>”the labor of love.”
>
>Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes
>WISDOM.
>
>You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
>
>Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.
>
>There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to
>succeed with your marriage.
>
>Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
>are also laws for relationships.
>
>Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger,
>certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
>
>It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results
>are predictable…you can “make” love.
>
>Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… Not just a feeling. ***